Is there a Gentleman in the Bus?

This The Mini Bus Chronicles #200802.

"Wala nang Gentleman ngayon." I often hear women passengers proclaim when they have to stand in a busful of passengers during rush hours. "E, ano naman?" I ask myself. "Meron pa ba naman kasing ladies ngayun?"

Gentlemen in buses (or other Philippine public utility vehicles) are guys who offer their seats to women. While it is true that this specie is as rare as the butanding, they are not yet extinct. Once in a while, they let their presence be felt. Problem is,the number of sightings is in direct proportion to the number of young women passengers, un-lady enough to go home alone @ 8:00 in the evening. It seems that if a passenger is in her teens or in her early adulthood, the gentleman easily stands up and let's the damsel sits. One should also be well-dressed and made-up to witness a knight in a shining armour rising above the commoners.

Now, if the passenger looks like one's mom, I'm sure, the gentleman will hide himself. Unless the mom look-alike asks him to give up his seat. Come to think of it, it must be their way of getting back at their moms.

Gentleman-ness may have something to do with age to. Younger boys (early teeners) are more prone to offer their seats to women regardless of physical attributes. It must also be due to their Boy Scout mentality or because at this age, mom is still an authority figure that overwhelms them.



Me as Both the Damsel and the Gentleman

My last days as a commuter in the metropolis defined how I commute now that I am back in the province. This simply means that I can shift from being a damsel to being a gentleman. I can accept offers of seats or I can offer my own to those in need. At the height of my feminist days, I actually decline and stare at men who offer their seats to me. Nowadays, I consider it a different kind of woman power to be offered a seat.

I remember when I was still working in Quezon City, I was one of the loyal provincianas who go home for the holidays. I either stand in serpentine lines in bus terminals or fight tooth and nail to get a ride in bus stops along EDSA. One Holy Week, I rode an ordinary Five Star Bus. When we reached Pampanga, a mother with 2 young children hopped into the SRO (standing room only) bus. No one stood and gave her a seat. I didn't want to stand either but she was beside me and I pitied her for trying to maintain her and her children's balance every time the bus slows down. A few minutes into the trip, no I told myself, "This is a job for Wonder Woman." I stood up and asked her to sit down in my place. She didn't thank me but I saw relief and gratefulness flood her face. It felt good and until now, I still feel proud of what I have done. Well, to be honest, I regretted it at some points in the trip. Who can blame me? I was standing from Pampanga to Tarlac for more than an hour ride, banging bodies with the rest of those who were standing in the aisle. Nevertheless, I still felt proud. I told my family this story and now, I am blogging-bragging about it.



Back here in the province, I have seen gentleman-ness in many forms. I remember the high school student who readily gave up his seat when I climbed the bus while carrying three grocery bags. I must have reminded him of his mom. I also remember a number of college boys, who sat in their seats with full concentration on their celfones trying to avoid looking at me, afraid to be in a situation of offering me their seats. These same boys stood up when college girls arrived a full thirty minutes after I did. I was actually pissed by their treatment not because I felt like a damsel in distress. I actually felt like a woman scorned. Good thing was I have a great sense of humor. As I joked to my officemates when I told them the story the following morning, "It must be a puson thing. The bigger it is the less chances a woman will be offered a seat." Unless of course, the puson is as big as the tummy and is larger than the boobs. Ah, pregnancy is bliss!

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Now that I have blogged about it, it doesn't really matter if there is or there is not a gentleman in the bus. I had my share of gentleman-ness anyway. The next best thing to do is not to beat the last trip or avoid rush hours. And the best thing? What else but to buy and drive my own car.